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  • Writer's pictureellagrace

there’s no rules


Here is 23 year old me, running around these Vanuatu style playgrounds and swinging off ropes. Eating nothing but fresh tropical fruit for days on end. Joining crew on a 99 year old sailboat that's sailing around the world. Running across hot white sand and swimming with local children. I am free. I am 'poor' (for western standards.) I am happy. So happy.


Lately I've found myself coming away from conversations wishing people felt more free to do what they really want. Truth is, life is short and I feel like valuing and enjoying it all has always been something I'm grateful I've prioritized. Whether or not that is something you prioritize, isn't relevant. What IS important is that each of us are choosing WHAT we want to prioritize, and are chasing after that. There are so many rules society has built up around us, and its exhausting when we try to live up to all of them. It's sad (and honestly exciting too) for me to chat with people who are unhappy and stuck and don't know how to change that. Maybe it's simple. Maybe its not. Maybe we could step back and look at how we're spending our time today, and look to where we want to be tomorrow. Maybe that just looks like making one small decision daily, of something to give up or something to pick up. A small yes or a small no. Or maybe it's all just a mindset. I love chasing the freedom that tells us life is but an empty canvas and we can truly paint whatever we want upon it. "Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire" is what my current journal cover reminds me daily. It's exciting, guys. Life can be so fun. Relationships can be so good. What are you prioritizing? Better yet, what do you want to prioritize?


Today, I'm choosing to prioritize relationships with people, learning new skills, experiencing different cultures and getting to know myself. Tomorrow joining this new sailboat I'll be learning how to best set these sails to catch the most amount of wind, learning how to cook good food with no refrigeration, how to build with bamboo and how to catch my own fish. Prioritizing being well rounded and relying on myself. And working hard with my hands and body. Feels important to me. What I love about living onboard a sailboat is you really rely on your home and your crew for EVERYTHING. You or your mate become the cook, the plumber, the navigator, the engineer, the handyman, the electrician, the doctor, the problem solver. It's nice to be so in touch with all aspects of daily life. I know the machine that treats my sewage and how it works to not harm the ocean around me. I have to be careful with what I buy and how its wrapped for once we set sail there's no place to throw anything away. I know how to make fresh water out of salt water and how to best take care of that machine so it doesn't fail on me. I am conscious of exactly how much water I use a day. I try to use sails as much as I can to avoid putting trails of fuel into the ocean. (NO, sailing is not perfect. Ships have flaws and are far from zero waste. But I love chasing the journey and dream of getting there at some point!) Living on the sea and relying on the earth in all her forms, is what I'm passionate about now. So fun to prioritize. Smart and financially wise? Nope.


I live in a society in Canada where so much of who we are and what we see boils down to WORK and STATUS. When meeting someone new we feel most comfortable asking, “what do you do for work?” As if that's the most important thing. We fill our schedule to be busy with work or school and everything else gets shoved around and can be enjoyed only when all said tasks are done. "Everything else in life - family and friends, sex and sleep, hobbies and holidays - is forced to bend around the almighty work schedule." (picked out of a Kinfolk volume)


"What if we stopped celebrating being busy as a measure of importance? What if instead we celebrate how much time we spend listening, pondering, mediating, and enjoying time with the most important people of our lives?" (Impacted me from the book Essentialism!) These two local friends we've made here in Vanuatu in the picture above have just taken the last two weeks off work along with all their extended family to support and properly celebrate their brother getting married. Maybe that's why I am so drawn to islands like these. Where family and helping one another comes first and work only takes up enough time of the day to be able to eat and exist, and nothing more. There's no fridges here to store up extra food. Each day takes what it needs and doesn't worry for tomorrow. So, here's to less. Less clothes, less things, less money, less storing up extra.

"To let work take over our lives is folly. There are too many important things that need time, such as friends, family, hobbies and rest." (Also found in a Kinfolk issue)


SO, THERES NO RULES. Don’t get stuck prioritizing things that aren’t important to you. Don’t think you have to be earning a certain amount or working certain hours to keep up with your friends or financial status. Don't say yes to things because you think you have too. Don't just go to the same church because you think you should. F the word "should" anyways. Don't get stuck working under a cruel boss because you think you deserve that or that's how it always will be. Yes, bills are expensive and living is expensive and I have been very blessed with the freedom to be able to travel and come home and live under my parents roof. I know this is very rarely the case. And I am so grateful for all I have. And I'm sorry if this fluffy message of "live your dreams!" is exhausting and offensive when you're living pay check to pay check or feeling stuck. All I'm wanting is for us to just focus on the WHY. Why do I work the hours I do, why do I work the job I do?


"Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter." (again, from Essentialism)

So, take some time to figure out who you are and what you like. What you'd like to prioritize. Don't downplay downtime. Take time off work to be there for someone. Figure out what drives you and do more of it. Life is such a beautiful gift and I believe is meant to be spent loving, living, being. Turning towards each other. Looking ahead to being who we want to be. Being okay with who we are. Enjoying the journey. Well, I hope this ramble of emotions can maybe encourage a step towards the direction you want to be heading. Or a leap.


go play !!!!

Inspired by my main girl Sahara, who always reminds me there are NO rules, and that we can live life just the way we want to. (And this time, that is together! On a sailboat! How blessed I am!)

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